The most dangerous time for a sober alcoholic

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Dallas
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Re: The most dangerous time for a sober alcoholic

Post by Dallas » Sat Jun 27, 2015 9:24 pm

Thanks for your question!

Early in my sobriety, after observing a few unusual deaths of other sober A.A.'s who died without drinking (as far as we knew) -- I began to ask "Why?" And, my Big Book sponsors often said to me "The most important place that we can look to find the answers to our questions in the Big Book."

So, I began to look in the book for the answers.

I'll post a few page references below of what I found on pages 61-62.

This section of the book is preparing us with the information that we need to "make our decision" in Step 3, so that we can follow through immediately and vigorously with Step 4, our Personal Inventory.

And, our 4th Step inventory focuses on four main areas of our self-driven actions that cause us the most problems: Fear. Resentments. Sex conduct. And, the harms that we've caused to others.

From what I got out of it was: Alcoholics are intensely emotionally sensitive people. Drinking helped us to "deal with" our emotions so that they wouldn't kill us.

When we get sober, we lose that "safety-net" or "safety-filter" or "safety-valve" alcohol -- so, if we don't drink, and we don't find a way to transformation of our self-obsession in thought and action -- our emotions will drive us to the point of having to be locked up or covered up.

Page 61-62, Big Book:


(page 61)

What usually happens? The show doesn’t come off
very well. He begins to think life doesn’t treat him right.
He decides to exert himself more. He becomes, on the
next occasion, still more demanding or gracious, as the
case may be. Still the play does not suit him. Admitting
he may be somewhat at fault, he is sure that other people
are more to blame. He becomes angry, indignant, selfpitying.
What is his basic trouble? Is he not really a selfseeker
even when trying to be kind? Is he not a victim of
the delusion that he can wrest satisfaction and happiness
out of this world if he only manages well? Is it not
evident to all the rest of the players that these are the
things he wants? And do not his actions make each of
them wish to retaliate, snatching all they can get out of
the show? Is he not, even in his best moments, a producer
of confusion rather than harmony?

Our actor is self-centered—ego-centric, as people like
to call it nowadays. He is like the retired business man
who lolls in the Florida sunshine in the winter complaining
of the sad state of the nation; the minister who
sighs over the sins of the twentieth century; politicians
and reformers who are sure all would be Utopia

(page 62)

if the rest of the world would only behave; the outlaw
safe cracker who thinks society has wronged him; and
the alcoholic who has lost all and is locked up. Whatever
our protestations, are not most of us concerned with
ourselves, our resentments, or our self-pity?

Selfishness—self-centeredness! That, we think, is the
root of our troubles. Driven by a hundred forms of fear,
self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the
toes of our fellows and they retaliate. Sometimes they
hurt us, seemingly without provocation, but we invariably
find that at some time in the past we have made decisions
based on self which later placed us in a position to be hurt.

So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making.
They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an
extreme example of self-will run riot, though he usually
doesn’t think so. Above everything, we alcoholics must
be rid of this selfishness.....
....WE MUST, OR IT KILLS US! God..... makes that possible.
And there often seems no way of entirely getting rid of self
without His aid. Many of us had moral and philosophical convictions
galore, but we could not live up to them even though we would
have liked to. Neither could we reduce our self-centeredness much by
wishing or trying on our own power. We had to have
God’s help.

Dallas


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