Sponsee Embarrassment

Help for alcohol abuse addiction alcoholics who want to stay sober
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Slunga
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Sponsee Embarrassment

Post by Slunga » Fri Jun 12, 2015 4:14 pm

I have run into this from time to time with members who, for one reason or another, have found it necessary to go test the waters again. Afterwards, they go into hiding from the program and the fellowship. From talking and listening with them , it seems that humiliation, a sense of failure and lots of embarrassment are the recurring feelings. Let me just say that there is absolutely no shame in returning to the program and working to recover. This is a life and death struggle, and it can't be won by isolating and feeling sorry about what did or didn't happen. Like I hear some of the younger folks say, "it's time to pull on my big boy (or girl) pants and get back to work". Amen.


Dallas
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Re: Sponsee Embarrassment

Post by Dallas » Mon Jun 15, 2015 10:46 am

Great topic. I understand it. That's what I did when I returned to drinking at 5 1/2 months sober. I was so embarrassed. I thought maybe I could just go to some different meetings than the one's where I had got sober, then get some time, and then eventually go back to visit the members that had helped me get sober, and tell them something like "no big deal! I'm back and sober and was just out a little while."

However, I couldn't get the "little while sober." I couldn't even get another 24 hours sober -- no matter how many meetings I went to as a "stranger." It wasn't just the embarrassment or dishonesty that wouldn't let me get sober again -- it was my alcoholism. I can see that now. But I did have to get rid of the dishonesty and deal w/ the embarrassment so I could get and stay sober.

Funny how -- ALL the people who had helped me previously already KNEW I had gone back to drinking. :-) Many were praying for me. Many were concerned and wanted to help. But, I avoided them, thinking they would be more disappointed in me than they would be concerned with helping me again. I was sure wrong!

After I was able to get sober again I made it a point of trying to find the re-treads like myself, who had tried and failed -- "the slippers" -- and reach out to them and try to help them. I could understand what they were going through. How difficult it was.

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