Abandoned for AA!??

A discussion of topics about relationships in Recovery
Legolas0703
Posts: 7
Joined: Thu Jan 17, 2013 10:43 am
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Re: Abandoned for AA!??

Post by Legolas0703 » Thu Jan 24, 2013 11:44 am

Dallas- No I have not found anything at all and I do not suspect that I will find anything either.


Legolas0703
Posts: 7
Joined: Thu Jan 17, 2013 10:43 am
Contact:

Re: Abandoned for AA!??

Post by Legolas0703 » Thu Jan 24, 2013 1:15 pm

Honestly in all the research I have done both online and by talking to others in the AA community I have found out that AA does not specifically say to abandon all relationships prior to or after entering recovery. I have found that they do encourage you to not START a relationship with someone else in recovery or start a relationship after entering early recovery however already established relationships that are not or were not solely based on drinking are ok.

I also hear a lot that people tend to go into recovery looking for dates both men and women alike which I think is just wrong, it is not a dating service nor should it be used as such... Honestly I agree with a lot of people I talked to that say that men should go to male meetings and females to female meetings and be completely separate because of this reason.

I have also heard from some elder members that people need to have the same sex sponsor and not to be coed with your sponsor because this can lead to problems... I was nervous as hell when my girlfriend said she was taking on a sponsor because she tends to gravitate towards men because she likes attention and she likes men so I thought oh great here we go but she chose a woman to be her sponsor which I was thankful for.

I have also read that a lot of spouses and significant others maintain a close relationship to their partners sponsor and communicate with them to help keep their partner on the straight and narrow however this would not be possible with my girlfriend because she will not share any contact information with me and I have asked and been told no.

I think that AA as a whole is a great program for those who have chemical dependency issues however I also think that there needs to be a bit of reform in the program to prevent situations like this from happening. I absolutely refuse to let this ruin my relationship because even though we are in a rough spot right now I feel like we can make it last.

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