Have you ever felt like you’ve searched for God in all the wrong places? Most of us, at some time, have felt this way.
I remember as a newly sober member of A.A., after already failing my first attempt at AA sobriety, I was really confused about the ‘God idea.’ I had what I would call ‘God problems.’ And they were serious enough to cause me to believe that A.A. was not going to work for me. My understanding of God, was different, than those, of other members in A.A. And, it seemed to me, that they were a pretty confused bunch, themselves, when it came to ideas about God.
Some of the A.A.’s were of the belief, that there was only ‘one way’ to God. Others, believed in ‘other ways’. And, some – said, they didn’t believe at all!
However, the 12 Steps, and specifically the Big Book, of A.A., which is A.A.’s official plan of recovery – states very clearly, that there isn’t much help to be had for recovery, without a belief in a Higher Power. Yes, it says more than this – but, I’ll save the ‘more’ part for a future post. Right now, I want to deal with ‘first things first’ – in relation to this post, about ‘Searching For God.’
The world-renowned psychiatrist, Dr. Carl Jung, in a letter, written to Bill Wilson, founder of Alcoholics Anonymous, seemed to indicate, that Dr. Jung, was of the belief, that alcoholics used alcohol, as an unconscious method – to seek an experience with God. A spiritual quest. That’s my summary and paraphrase of what Dr. Jung, wrote in the letter, to Bill W.
Regardless of how, or where, you start — If you’re honest in a search for God, you’ll find Him. You won’t need anyone to tell you anything, teach you anything, guide you, or initiate you. Your DNA and your biology are already designed and programmed to discover the way to knowing and having a relationship with God. Don’t get frustrated that the path doesn’t seem to be in a straight line. You’ll change your path, and your mind, and your thinking, many times. But, in the end — He’ll make sure you get there. You see, “real faith” comes from “real knowing”. And, the only way you can have “real knowing” — is to do your own thinking, and searching, your own way. If you depend on someone else to guide you — you’ll still have doubts in your faith. The mind works that way. Yes. Other people can be helpful in your search. They can tell you what they did, and you can judge for yourself, if it’s something you may want to try. But the bottom line is: “real faith” is an “inside you” job – and it depends, on you.
Jesus told his disciples, they couldn’t do the miracles He told them they could do, because, of their lack of belief, and their doubts. Faith develops over time — with effort. It requires experience. And, experience takes time to get. The point is: don’t give up. Keep at it, and you’ll get what you need.
~Dallas B.